A Perspective on Greatness

What does greatness mean to you? Would greatness mean you are at the top of your field, earning a top income, associating with world renowned people? Have you given much thought to what it would mean to be great? If you have not pondered that in a while, give it a minute right now.

Eleven year old Liang Yaoyi gave it much thought. "There are many people doing great things in the world," Liang Yaoyi said, according to China Daily. "They are great, and I want to be a great kid too."

To Liang, being great meant donating his organs upon his death.

Prior to his death in June of a brain tumor, Liang told his mother he wanted to donate his organs so someone else could live. It was a chance for him to be alive in a different way.

Liang’s perspective deeply touched the physicians, so they bowed to honor him after they removed his liver and kidneys. In the Chinese culture, the deeper the bow, the deeper the respect. As you can see in the photo, the physicians bowed deeply. You can see how touched Liang’s mother is in the background. 

Liang’s selfless act was so great that the bow has garnered the attention of media outlets around the globe. Now, a child who lived only eleven years will impact the world in a greater way than he imagined.

There are many ways to be great, and anyone can be great if they want to be. Most people don’t ponder it much. Most people are wrapped up in the mundaneness of daily life and we miss opportunities for greatness.

This week, slow down and seek those opportunities. They are all around. There are many people doing great things. Do you want to be one?

 

Observing Veterans Day with a WWII spitfire pilot and Roger Waters

This week, we will see signs acknowledging the military service of our colleagues, family, and friends. We will have coffee with them in the morning, meet with them throughout the day, and work with them tomorrow. As we do, let’s remember they have had a significant life experience the rest of us did not have. Today we set aside a few moments to honor them for it, and they let us. Most would rather the day go by without notice, but this one day, we get to recognize they have done something for us. Today, we get to remind ourselves to make their military experience worth it by earning it the rest of the year.

Two recent events reinforced the meaning of Veterans Day for me this year.

One was the Stand Up for Heroes concert last Wednesday at Madison Square Garden. The video below describes how a band of brothers came together to perform at the concert. The band members are Wounded Warriors, and they are led by Roger Waters of Pink Floyd. The band members talk about the impact music has on them and one, Marine Corporal Tim Donnelly, says, “I feel more whole now that I’ve ever been in my whole life.” He lost both legs and use of his arm in the recent war in Afghanistan.

The other event was not from the recent wars but from WWII.

Upon the death of his uncle, a man found two suitcases full of video shot by his uncle during WWII. His uncle was a flight surgeon who took more than 100 hours of film. As the man watched some of the film, he became curious about the people in the clips. He wondered if they had ever seen the film and if they would want to. One of the clips is of a pilot making an emergency landing of a spitfire.

The video below tells the story of the uncle and the pilot. The video shows Lt. John S. Blyth, a WWII recon mission pilot who flew unarmed and alone over Germany, seeing the film of his landing for the first time. The whole story is interesting, but seeing the pilot see his landing for the first time makes stories like this hit close to home.

On days like today, we often hear the phrase, “All gave some, and some gave all.” We work with people who gave some and know people who gave all. Today we honor all of them. 

Do you have a perception problem?

Yesterday afternoon I met a friend for coffee. We had not seen each other since May, so we enjoyed catching up for a while. At one point, I was telling her about an upcoming activity with some high school students, and she encouraged me to show a lot of confidence when interacting with kids that age. Another time in the conversation, I mentioned the first year with MRIGlobal flew by yet I feel so new, and she again urged me about confidence. After her second mention of it, I began to wonder if I come across to her, or in general, as if I don’t have confidence.

So, now I’m paranoid and lacking confidence!

The conversation prompted me to dig a little about perceptions. How do our impressions of others impact our behaviors? How do our perceptions of ourselves impact our performance? If anyone reading this has a perception problem, what I learned and pondered might help you too.

The psychology gurus are pretty set on the definition of perception: it is the process by which we translate our environment into our view of the world. Of course, our view affects our behaviors and behaviors lead to success or failure with work and people.

Take a look at the photo to the left. How old is the woman you see? The way you see the woman will impact how you treat her, if she were a real person in front of you. Or, perhaps you see something else entirely?

A colleague told me a story recently. The story was about selling shoes in India. As the story goes, an Indian leader wanted to set up a shoe business in a specific region, so he sent an ambassador there to do some recon work. The elder ambassador spent little time in the region and told the leader that selling shoes in that region would be a waste of time because the people don’t even wear shoes.

In the meantime, an enterprising young man met the leader. The young man was eager to prove himself worthy of a position with the leader, so he offered to go to the same region to assess the shoe business potential. He spent time in the region, interacted with the people, noted their interests and needs. When he returned to the leader, he was excited about the potential shoe business. There was great potential because the people don’t wear shoes! Turns out, the young man was right and the shoe business prospered.

Perception affects behavior, and behavior affects success with work and people. Watch out for three common perception problems to make sure you see things as they are and act accordingly.

Self-fulfilling prophecy: Believing something is true causes it to come true. The best example I can think of for this is “parking karma.” I believe in such karma and it almost always works for me. When people in the car doubt or make fun of it, it always works. Right when a passenger laughs off my parking prayer (“Hail Mary full of grace, help me find a parking space”), someone pulls out of the front spot. Another common example is when searching for a lost item. It is better to say, “I will remember to print the report” instead of “I hope I don’t forget to print the report.”

I read a statistic a long time ago that said 70%-90% of what we say to ourselves is negative. Pay attention to how you talk to, and about, yourself to see if that number could be taken down a notch or two.

 

Self-sabotage: Self-sabotage goes deeper than self-talk. Sometimes people procrastinate or do mediocre work as a way to sabotage themselves. A technique that helps self-sabotagers is Stop-Challenge-Focus. (SOURCE: Turn Self-Sabotage Into Success By Geoffrey James on www.inc.com)

When you avoid taking an action that would help you reach your goals, use the three steps:

1.       STOP. Identify the belief that's causing you to feel emotions that aren't helping you succeed.

2.       CHALLENGE. Question the validity of that belief and find reasons why it's not really true or not true in this case.

3.       FOCUS. Create a specific inner dialog that supports your goals and then take action immediately.

Fundamental attribution error: This is when we give positive explanations for our results and negative ones for others. For example, I got the “A” on the exam because I studied hard, while Joey got the “A” because he was lucky. At work, this might relate to positions, promotions, evaluations, or project assignments. A flawed sense of oneself leads to career stagnation or failure. It is difficult for others to give feedback when our vision of ourselves differs from how others view us, so watch for it yourself.

One of the great philosophers of our day, Stephen Colbert summed this issue up nicely, “It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.”

Whether we are with friends, colleagues, or customers, perception is everything. Remember, that includes your perception of others and of yourself, not just their perception of you.

The greatness of simplicity

Usually I focus on business examples, but today let’s take a look at a different kind of leader example. Check out the comparison below.

The Pope on the left retired in February; the new Pope is on the right. Notice the difference in regalia. The new Pope, Pope Francis, has removed much of the formal regalia and majesty surrounding the Catholic Church leadership position. He doesn’t need fancy red shoes, red cape, red carpet, or ruby and diamond cross. His throne is a simple wooden one, which might be more like something Jesus would use as the son of a carpenter. His speeches are simple, not elaborate or complex. Pope Francis has changed the tone of the Vatican through his simplicity of living and communicating.

The new Pope is attracting followers because he is humble, yet strong. He has shown he thinks differently than previous Popes and those who run the Vatican, and so far, people, including Catholics like me, like it. The content of his message is the same as one would expect from the Catholic leader. It is his delivery and demeanor that are different.

You see, some leaders need regalia to feel worthy of their position. Others feel the worth inside themselves, and they trust in the wisdom of those who put them in the leadership position. Superficial, external, showmanship is not what real leadership is about. The new Pope knows it, just as other exemplary business leaders do.

We may hear more about Donald Trump than we hear about Jim Stowers, Dave Goebel, or Bonnie Kelly and Teresa Walsh, but that is changing. The pendulum is swinging as there is less interest in narcissistic Chief Ego Officers living large like rock stars and more interest in humble leaders living and working for something bigger than themselves.

Don’t confuse a humble leader with one who is meek, naïve, or docile. Humble leaders lack pretense, not guts. They know when they need help and they are self-assured enough to ask for it. Humble leaders know their weaknesses and seek input from others to counter them. Humble leaders lack arrogance, not assertiveness. They can even be aggressive when situations call for it.

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, calls humble leaders Level 5 leaders. He says, “Level 5 leaders are differentiated from other levels of leaders in that they have a wonderful blend of personal humility combined with extraordinary professional will.”

It is not about the title in the company, it is about the triumph of humility and fierce resolve. The combination is characteristic of successful leaders in the Church, in business, and in life.

The slippery slope from confidence to arrogance

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The topic has been on my mind, and I wasn’t sure where to draw the line, so I briefly researched and asked a dozen people for their perspectives.

According to dictionaries and different people, the difference between confidence and arrogance has to do with how one views others.

Confident people believe in themselves. They know they are competent, and their belief is not dependent on others. They may enjoy feedback and recognition, but they do not require it in order to feel good about themselves.

Arrogant people’s confidence depends on others’ weaknesses. They even point out others’ errors and faults to make themselves appear better. One colleague said, “Arrogant people only feel smart if someone else feels stupid.”

The tricky part about confidence and arrogance is that the line is so thin between them, it makes for a slippery slope. Confidence often turns in to arrogance after success.

Success requires confidence. Success requires the confidence to take risks regarding investments, innovations, and interactions. However, success can cause insecurity: when will the next risk pay off? What if the next one does not turn out well? What if that was a one-time success? The insecurity wears a mask called arrogance, hence, the slippery slope from confidence to arrogance.

Each article I read about arrogance described it as a cover for insecurity. Isn’t that interesting? The very thing arrogant people despise, weakness or insecurity, is what they are covering by putting others down to prop themselves up.

One of the most highly regarded experts on arrogance is University of Akron Dean Stanley Silverman who spent four years working with a research team to quantify arrogance.

"Here's what happens," Silverman said. "I'm worried that other people are going to realize that I'm not very competent at my job, so I'm going to put other people down, criticize others and belittle my employees because somehow I think I'm going to look better that way. If I put down everybody around me, it makes my candle shine a little brighter." (SOURCE: www.cleveland.com)

The following eight behaviors are how arrogant people make their candle shine brighter:

1.     Drop names. 

2.     Look for criteria other than business performance to use when measuring success. Since business performance might not be so good, arrogant people focus on their degree, school, or job title.

3.     One-up others. Arrogant people have the best of the best and worst of the worst of whatever experience is being discussed. They have the best book published, the worst cold the doctor has ever seen, the best behaved child, the worst boss. They did the biggest project with the most difficult client for the most money ever. Confident people don’t need to brag. They let their work speak for itself.

4.     Have an answer for everything. Arrogant people will rarely say, “I don’t know but will find out.”

5.     Interrupt frequently because they are not really listening.

6.     Avoid eye contact because they don’t care about others unless they need something from the person.

7.     Arrive late to meetings because their time is more valuable than everyone else’s.

8.     Blame others for errors or low performance. It’s never their fault the team is struggling.

 

What other behaviors do you attribute to arrogance? The more we know, the better able we will be to ensure we are not sliding down that slope. 

1.     Recognizing our own arrogant behavior can help improve our relationships with our colleagues. The following eight suggestions also can help if you have to work with arrogant people:

2.     Point at them and declare, “I know why you’re so arrogant: because you are weak!” in your best eight-year-old nah-nah-nah voice. Just kidding—don’t confront them. They will see it as a compliment and it will just waste your time.

3.     Build your own confidence so you do not have time to give attention to negative people.

4.     Spend free time with positive people who do not diminish your accomplishments or try to impress you. Minimize the time you spend with the arrogant person.

5.     Admire and recognize the accomplishments of others. When the arrogant person sees you acknowledge someone else, he might alter his behavior in his quest for approval.

6.     Keep secrets to yourself. Anything you tell an arrogant person could end up as fodder for her own esteem-boosting if she resorts to putting you down to pull herself up.

7.     Do not badmouth the arrogant colleague. Some people actually believe any press is good press. Also, gossiping can lead to wasting too much time on a topic not worth it.

8.     Include others in your conversations with the arrogant person. “Russell, we have heard your view. Now it is time to hear from Sally.”

9.     Most importantly, realize their arrogance is not about you.

What else have you done to work successfully with arrogant people?

Since this topic has been on my mind, I asked a group of business professionals recently how many of them have ever worked with an arrogant colleague. Every hand raised high. When I asked if they were the arrogant person, all hands went down.

"If you're being arrogant, you're going to derail your own career," said Stanley Silverman, an organizational and industrial psychologist. "It's just a matter of when. Nobody is irreplaceable."  Even when an arrogant person is more skilled, the confident person will win out because they can work better with others internally and externally.

When it comes down to it, performance matters. No one will work their hardest for someone who puts them down or tries to make them feel inferior. The good news is that if you’ve begun the slippery slope from confidence to arrogance, you can get back on track and salvage your reputation.