The one thing leaders overlook...yet it's essential to their success as leaders

This summer I taught two courses for the MBA program at Rockhurst University. One was on Corporate Social Responsibility and the other was on Organizational Level Leadership. It was interesting to note how often self-esteem came up. It is important for everyone, yet it is often taken for granted at the leadership levels.

Between the two classes, we discussed EY, Peloton, Carvana, Abbott Labs, Lego, Tata Group, Starbucks, Four Seasons, Southwest Airlines, and many more companies. Leadership decisions kept coming back to individuals, their core values, and the self-esteem underlying the confidence to live in alignment with the values.

For example, both classes discussed EY’s recent $100 million fine for employees cheating on the ethics exam and lying to cover it up. (Prior blog post about this issue.)

Someone knew about the cheating and reported it internally.

Think about the internal dilemma someone would have if they decide to speak up: do I risk losing friends at work or do I truly live with integrity? Surely, many would pretend not to notice the cheating because that dilemma is tough.

At EY, it’s likely several people knew and brought it forward over time to different people. What did those people do with the information when it came to them? They faced a dilemma too.

Their dilemma was: do I bring this forward to ensure the organization lives by its core values or do I mind my own business? Surely, many would rather mind their own business than get involved in the tough issue.

Perhaps you can’t relate to your company cheating on a required exam. Maybe a relatable situation is underbidding a job to get the contract, over-billing clients, paying people differently for the same role, or covering costly mistakes. As leaders, you will face similar dilemmas to those faced by the EY employees.

In the classes this summer, we talked about keeping self-esteem high because you need when faced with tough challenges. Yet, leaders often take self-esteem for granted and don’t do much to strengthen it.

Basically, self-esteem means you like yourself.

There are two keys to self-esteem for leaders.

⚫ The first key is to recognize that situations arise to boost or knock self-esteem regularly—daily, even. When that happens, act on purpose to get it back up. Doing so regularly builds your self-esteem and makes it harder to knock down. It also solidifies the foundation for living in accordance with your core values. The tough decisions are less daunting when you know you will be okay afterward.

How do you boost your self-esteem when it’s been dinged?

⚫ The second key is to intentionally keep self-esteem high. Prevent it from being susceptible to those daily dings.

Here are a few ideas to consider:

1) Take care of yourself inside and outside.

On the outside, take care of your surroundings, home, financials, car—anything external to you. The outside matches the inside, so reinforce the inside as much as possible through the outside.

On the inside…

◼ Do something every day to reinforce your self-esteem. This will build your resilience power, which you will need in life. What makes you feel good about yourself? Write a list and do those things on purpose every day.

◼ Always listen to feedback that helps you get better. Never listen to words that take apart who you are inside. Others’ poor communication or personal misery is not your responsibility. That include you. Talk nicely to yourself. You deserve it.

◼ Reaffirm and reinforce your inside throughout your day. Use notes on your computer, personal mantras, meditate in the morning, hang out with good people. Take the Mirror Test every day. I wrote about this more than ten years ago in the book Put Your Whole Self In!

When you brush your teeth in the morning, look yourself in the eyes and decide how you are going to show up today. Remind yourself throughout the day when you are in front of the mirror periodically. At the end of the day, brushing your teeth again, assess. Did you show up as you intended? Did you pass your Mirror Test? Every day is a new day to live in alignment with the truth of who you are meant to be.

2) Get endorphins on purpose. What boosts your endorphins—music, running, meditation? Know what works for you and do it on purpose. When you feel down, get endorphins on purpose. Just do it. Sometimes our body has to do it even if our brain isn’t on board.

3) Serve others. Pay attention to others, notice others, and seek opportunities to serve those in need. That’s what we are here for, “the least of my brothers” and all. You are needed in the world for service to those in need. Do not allow society or social media to tempt you into being self-absorbed. Be a helper, and life improves.

What else can you do regularly to keep your self-esteem high?

Keep your self-esteem high, and you will notice great outcomes like reduced pressure to justify going against core values, better friends at work (outside work too), and a greater purpose.

At Rockhurst, I ended both classes on this topic and finished with words from St. Ignatius of Loyola: Go forth and set the world on fire!

The world needs your leadership. Keep your esteem high so you can be the leader the world needs…so you can be the leader your corner of the world needs right now.